Beautiful Eagle Merica American Flag Shirt
I wore a mask today in Walmart. I wasn’t buying into the conspiracy but the left-wing oppressor security guard wouldn’t let me in without one. Fucking commie. Anyway, as I was treading upon and denied my liberties, two of my lungs collapsed. Nobody cared that the security guard was killing me, which I’m used to since, as a Beautiful Eagle Merica American Flag Shirt white Christian male, I’m always under attack. As I got carbon monoxide poisoning from breathing in my own bacteria, a brave patriot wearing an Affliction shirt, a MAGA hat, and sweet wrap-around sunglasses saved me by giving me CPR (he said “no homo” when our lips touched).I thanked him and asked if he was a doctor and he said “who needs doctors when we have our fellow Americans, the Beautiful Eagle Merica American Flag Shirt ones who are here legally I mean.” I shook his hand taking in the deep aroma of Copenhagen dip and freedom that surrounded him. I actually bought from a guy here that thought it was real. He fought me on it until I emailed Troy and they were like, “fuck no that’s not ours” and then he refunded me. Been sitting in a drawer ever since Honestly not sure.
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